Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Black Canyon Biker



A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.

He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours he hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other.


A short distance down the road, the Corvettes--both going well over 120 mph--blew through a speed trap. 

The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had 2 Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. 

He then relayed, "And you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass."

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Good old adage replaced

Good old adage: Watch your Back 

has been replaced in the 21st Century with



... 21st C ... 
Watch out for your Neck

Acknowledgement  Thanks to AG in AU






Monday, September 22, 2014

Critique to kill for

Theres always One 


Building Permits

My Building Permit Application: 

Some have asked what I've been doing in retirement.
Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.
It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide,
with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows
all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system.
It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it
snot green with pink trim.

The City Council told me: Its a Fortress 

“Forget it...AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!”

So, I made some slight changes reapplied and ..... 

This time I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a "Mosque."

Work starts on Monday.

And here is the best part, it's going to be tax exempt!

I love this country.

It’s the government that scares me.



Acknowledgement: we thank RN in NZ

Saturday, September 20, 2014

SHERIFF, GRADY JUDD

POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF, GRADY JUDD

Antiguan man an illegal alien, in Polk County, Florida, who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop, ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A statewide manhunt ensued. 

The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area.  As soon as he took a shot at the SWAT team, officers opened fire on him. They hit the guy 68 times.

Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they had to shoot the poor, undocumented immigrant 68 times.

Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel: "Because that's all the ammunition we had."

Now, is that just about the all-time greatest answer or what!

The Coroner also reported that the illegal alien died of natural causes. When asked by a reporter how that could be, since there were 68 bullet wounds in his body, he simply replied(BEST QUOTE ever) . .. ... "When you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."

Polk County Florida Sheriff - "You kill a policeman it means no arrest...no Miranda rights...no negotiations...nothing but as many bullets as we can shoot into you...PERIOD.

True Event28 September 2006, Polk County Deputy Doug Speirs killed


Friday, September 19, 2014

Monster Black Hole Discovery

Dwarf Galaxy Monster Black Hole Discovery

Hey: I have one of these permanently located in my Galaxy 
"the inside of my Wallet" my DSP Pension within seconds of entry disappears into this black hole; never to be seen fortnightly


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Expectations!!

Don't minimise the efforts of People:
Maybe your expectation is unrealistic



Sunday, September 14, 2014